I have this savasana thing UNDER CONTROL. If there was an Olympic sport for the final pose of yoga, I’d win gold.
I show up at yoga just to get to the end. I used to worry that class would end and I would still be layed out on my mat sound asleep while others rolled up theirs. Not anymore. I’ll take the risk of embarrassment in order to float among my unconscious mind. It’s heaven.
What is not heaven is meditation. It’s a bit like savasana in that your goal is to completely relax and sit within the stillness. Aware but still. Or maybe I wasn’t supposed be aware at all? Oh well. The whole experience still makes me laugh.
It took me a few years to convince my mind to shut up long enough to tell my body that savasana was our friend and look at us now- we’re soulmates so maybe there is hope for meditation and I.
I need yoga in my life. Period. I need quiet. I need to remember to breathe. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done primarily because it requires me to keep my mouth shut. It’s a hard lesson to master in class and in life so I keep showing up at class trying to quiet both my mouth and my mind.
Today, I tried a combination class of flow and meditation. I had never taken this class before from this instructor but I knew when she walked in that patchouli might start sprouting up from the floors. After a few flows, I grew to like her vibe. She was confident and firm with her intention.
And then, my friends, we began to meditate. Everyone seemed to pop right into comfortable position immediately with all of their bolsters and blankets following que while I chose a position that I immediately regretted thirty seconds in. Being the best student I could be, I followed directions and resisted the urge to fidget while my left leg slipped into a deep pins and needle nerve firework show.
The chant seemed easy enough to repeat and focus on. I was able to keep up for awhile and keep a steady in and out breath in rhythm with her chant- for about the first 2 mins. She continued to chant again and again and again and again. I continued to breathe in and out again, and again, and again until I felt as if I might tumble over and crumble all the new sprouted patchouli around me. My body began to rotate in a circle so I opened my eyes to make sure we were all still there and we were. I closed my eyes again and gave it another go.
Don’t fall over.
Did they turn on the heat?
I can’t feel my left leg.
Did I just fall asleep?
Do not laugh- this is serious.
How many times is she going to repeat herself?
She must be counting to a thousand!!
Oh my God, I have got to pee!!
Just when I thought my mind couldn’t tell my mouth to stay quiet anymore, she stopped. I did it. I couldn’t quiet my mind and nearly passed out from inhales, but I managed to set through the quiet without a single fidget.
What she said next was what all my training had prepared me for. “Please prepare for final relaxation” she says. So I do, and all is right in the world again.